Grief, the beginning

My grief journey started with shock, disbelief, extreme sadness, incredible lows and feelings of not being able to cope with the pain, physically or mentally. How was I ever going to laugh again, feel joy or be happy? It seemed impossible with the overwhelming guilt, regret and amount of sobbing so hard that it made my face hurt.

No matter how much; I cried, sat in her room, saw a counsellor, talked with friends, drank wine, stayed in bed, walked for hours or thought about her, mentally torturing myself trawling over and over the details, absolutely nothing made any difference what so ever...She was still gone.

A friend introduced me to another bereaved mum, her son had passed a couple of years previous...we talked and walked, I couldn't work out how she got out of bed every day...she was at a different stage to me and had learnt the skills to cope somehow, I thought. After what seems now like an extremely short period of time, I met another bereaved mum, she had lost her son three months before I lost Emily. She understood everything I said...listened with empathy, allowed the ebb and flow as we talked about our children and didn't feel uncomfortable when the tears streamed down my face uncontrollably. We discussed everything, it was easy, guiltless, even sometimes funny, discussing how we could possibly go on in this ridiculously painful world.

How do we navigate this new world?

One night, my fellow bereaved mum friend rang me excitedly saying that a dragon fly had come into her house that day and she'd seen a conference advertised for bereaved parents on the 'Helping Parents Heal' Facebook page. She wanted to go, would I go with her? It was in Phoenix, Arizona, US of A! I said yes!

This is where my journey of discovering how to live with bereavement began.

https://www.helpingparentsheal.org/

Your Grief Journey

Your grief journey will take you in many directions. Hold onto the reins, allow yourself to experience new things, and say yes to opportunities you may have declined in the past. Life is very short; we have learned that. Honour your loved one and strive to be the best person you can be. Feel their love, and although our hearts are broken, we still have time to make a difference.

Embrace New Experiences

• Open yourself to new activities.

• Say yes to invitations and opportunities.

• Explore hobbies or interests you previously overlooked.

Honour Your Loved One

• Reflect on their values and passions.

• Engage in acts of kindness in their memory.

• Share stories and memories with others.

Make a Difference

• Volunteer for causes important to your loved one.

• Support others who are grieving.

• Advocate for change in areas that resonate with you.

In your journey, remember that while grief is a heavy burden, it can also inspire growth and positive change. Embrace the moments of joy and connection that arise along the way.