Starting a Support Group for Bereaved Mums – and How It Helped Me Too
- Aug 31
- 3 min read
Grief can be one of the loneliest experiences, especially as a mum. When life expects you to keep going, to keep functioning, to keep showing up, the weight of loss can feel unbearable and isolating.
I started a support group for bereaved mums because I knew I needed to be with others who felt the same as I did, somewhere that didn’t require explanations, where I didn’t have to soften my words or make others comfortable. What I didn’t realise at the time was just how much this group would help not only me, but every mum who found her way to it.
Why I Started the Group
Like many bereaved mums, I discovered that people often want to help, but don’t always know how. Conversations became awkward, silences heavy and over time I found myself feeling increasingly alone with my grief. It's with you 24-7 and you have to live with a dual conversation continually (the one in your head that is constantly thinking about your child and the one you are actually having with a person). It is mentally exhausting.
I wanted to create a space built on understanding, not fixing. A place where tears, anger, numbness, laughter and silence were all welcome. Somewhere you could say exactly how you were feeling without being told how strong, positive or brave you are....we are not, we are just doing our best to rise in the morning.
The group began simply — just four mums, meeting through friends of friends and knowing there were more of us out there...possibly as isolated, lonely and distraught as we were...I wrote a note on the local resident's Facebook page and each month the group has sadly grown.
What Bereaved Mums Really Need
What became clear very quickly is that bereaved mums don’t need advice or solutions. We need to be heard. We need our children acknowledged. We need our grief recognised as ongoing, not something to “move on” from.
Within the group, there is no pressure to speak. Some mums share openly, others just listen. Some come regularly, some dip in when things feel heavy. All of it is okay. Some hate the reason we know each other and some are so grateful to not feel alone.
There is comfort in sitting alongside people who already understand — people who don’t need the details to know the depth of the pain.
How Peer Support Has Helped Us
Peer support doesn’t take grief away, but it changes how heavy it feels. Knowing you are not alone can make even the hardest days more manageable.
For many of us, the group has become a place of safety. A place to mark anniversaries, to speak our children’s names, to share moments of sadness and moments of unexpected joy — without guilt.
For me personally, being part of this group has helped me feel less isolated, has given me new, amazing close friends who have become incredibly important to me. It has reminded me that connection still matters, even in grief. Especially in grief.
How It Helped Me
Creating this group wasn’t about leading or guiding others. It was about walking alongside them.
Listening to other mums has helped me understand my own grief more deeply. It has shown me that grief can be carried together, even when each journey is different.
Some days the group feels like a lifeline. Other days it is simply a quiet reminder that I am not alone — and that matters more than I ever expected.
A Gentle Note
This group offers peer support, not professional counselling or therapy. It is a shared space of understanding, compassion and connection. If you are struggling and need additional support, reaching out to a qualified professional can be an important step.
You Are Not Alone
If you are a bereaved mum reading this and wondering whether there is a place for you — there is. Whether you feel ready to talk or just need to sit quietly among others who understand, you are welcome. We are based in Canterbury in Kent, England.
There are groups around the country, such as The Compassionate Friends or you could start you own.
Grief may be an unwanted companion, but it doesn’t have to be carried alone.
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